The Speedboat Effect: Finding the Right Balance in Relationships

Imagine you have a relationship problem now, and you thought of sharing it to your trusted friends. Some will say “Follow your heart” and some “Use your brain”. Opinions are divided into these two schools of thought.

The debate never ends. Here is my take on relationships:

Being in a relationship is like running a speedboat. The speedboat needs two things for it to go to wherever it needs to go: Propeller and Steering mechanism. The heart is the propeller and the mind is the steering mechanism.

Our feelings, how real and sincere it may seem, will propel us very fast — and that is good. But we can’t just propel our way to somewhere without steering into the right direction. That “bahala na” thinking sounds poetic and nice but it will only give you a false sense of security and excitement. This is where many relationships fail: they just keep on propelling and propelling and find themselves in the middle of the sea – in the middle of nowhere. Stuck on a stalemate, they eventually give it up and call it quits. Some also find themselves losing fuel because they just keep on speeding on without a particular place to go. Oh yes you can get away from the world and lose yourselves in your arms, but hey, you will want to land somewhere, won’t you?

Even relationships need a touch of strategy to balance everything. Feelings will help you move on, and the proper planning and strategy will give you the much needed direction that a relationship needs. Relationship is a combination of love, lust, companionship and understanding. Balance everything and you will get to where you want to go. You and your partner must have teamwork in every little thing that you do as a couple. Do stuff that will “refuel” your love. Every now and then you take each other on a dinner date and do the things that you used to do on your first years together. Talk about your future and make sure your plans turn into action. On an argument, think things over and argue things with a sense of teamwork – it’s not who wins the argument, but on how sincere you are with your shortcomings and strive for making things better in the future. These are the sort of things you do when you learn to balance the logic and feelings together. Respect, trust and love will work in clock-wise fashion when this balance is achieved.

The heart and mind must work together, not beat each other.

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